November 14, 2011

Your Questions, My Answers #1

Hey Steph! Love your idea and I'd love to ask a question that has been on my mind lately.  What I want to know is what factored into your decision to have your first child, what were your factors that you and Tyrell considered and prayed about? What stability do you think a relationship needs and what lifestyle do you think a couple needs to be ready for, for that huge jump? I know the timing different for everyone, but could you give me a little bit of commentary on what timing was like for you and what felt right and what didn't? You are en educated woman who lives the gospel and I'm really just needing some advice/commentary/discussion about this topic lately!

This is such a loaded question, and so many factors go in to deciding to become parents. With that said, I'll share with you my thoughts, which don't necessarily make them right for you

Why we waited 2 years: 
My Mr. and I knew that we wanted to be married for a little while before having children. We wanted to know how each other "worked." How we thought about things, handled hard situations, celebrated, how we expressed different parenting ideas etc. We thought that this was important before bringing a baby into our lives. I also knew that it would be too hard on me to have a baby while still in school. (We did cut it close, Bristol was born 3 months after I graduated college.) A lot of moms do have babies while in school, it is possible, but not for me!

When I (we) got baby hungry:
I think every couple does it. We are out in public and see a baby. The wife cries, and the husband wants to play with it. It started happening to us. We wanted one. This meant we wanted the one screaming her lungs out too. We wanted to scoop her up and make her feel better. Babies aren't all roses. But they sure are worth every second of it! We prayed and asked for guidance, we also went to the Temple. Since we believe that it is a commandment to "multiply and replenish" it was easy from there. We had the go ahead from our Heavenly Father. We were so excited. However, in giving advice, deciding when and how many children to have are very private decisions between husband and wife, and hopefully the Lord. These decisions should be prayed about, and when you receive your answer, act upon them with faith. 

Having kids is a huge jump in marriage. You can read every book, ask everyone for advice, but you still can't get completely prepared. You just don't quite know what it is like to have a baby until you do. You have to jump into it with both feet and have the faith that you will know what to do when challenges arise (a baby that hasn't pooped in 3 days) or know how to find out what to do. This is when moms, friends, and sisters advice come in handy!

TyRell and I also prepared our home. We wanted a home filled with love without bias. We wanted a clean home where the Spirit could dwell. And we wanted funds sufficient enough to pay for our children. We weren't rich by any means, but we were comfortable. Our children were expensive to get here, and we had an inkling that that they would be before they were born.

You also won't know quite what unconditional love is until you have a baby. Oh my the love that just makes your heart explode when that little bundle of joy is placed in your arms. You also won't know what being selfless is until you have a baby. A woman gives her body to the growth of a baby, and afterward gives every minute. This is not meant to sound demeaning. When I think of mothering, I think of Christ. It is such a Christlike act. It is beautiful and will make you grow so much! I can't quite think of the right words to describe it!

My heart goes out to those women who are or want to be mothers. It is such a divine calling. My prayers are with those who are preparing for parenthood. 

If you would like more insight on becoming parents, read this and this.

Bristol born March 16, 2009

Tytan born February 24, 2011

Please feel free to add more insight to mine...I could go on and on and on...but you don't want just my opinion! :)

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